False Stories Could Be Holding You Back

Quite often our brains are lying to us in an attempt to protect us from possible rejection or failure. If we don't try it, we can't fail, so we give ourselves a reason not to try. We create false stories about why we can’t do that thing.

I'm not a fan of the word mindset. I think it's becoming an overused buzzword that gets thrown about too often by people trying to sell dogshit courses and programmes.

But there's a reason there are so many books, articles and courses about fixed and growth mindset, limiting beliefs, breaking and forming habits, and how to change your thinking.

The way we think about things can directly impact our success. Negative thinking can cloud our judgement, hold us back, and put us into a self-fulfilling prophecy. We think we'll fail, so we will.

And quite often our brains are lying to us in an attempt to protect us from possible rejection or failure. If we don't try it, we can't fail, so we give ourselves a reason not to try. We create false stories about why we can’t do that thing.

“I’m not good enough”
“I’m not experienced enough”
“People won’t take me seriously”
“I’m not as confident as other people”
“I don’t have enough time”
“I’m not ready yet”

We convince ourselves these things are true, often with little or no evidence to back it up. We're simply letting our insecurities or self-doubt creep in and hold us back.

In my book, The Freelance Fairytale, I dedicated a whole chapter to this topic because these stories have such an impact on our business and our happiness.

If we let our inner trolls win, we limit ourselves. We get in our own way.

“That won’t work for me”

“That won’t work for me” almost always translates into “I don’t want to try it”.

We’re scared to try new things, especially if it goes against the grain. But you don’t need me to tell you the human race would never have advanced if nobody had ever tried anything new.

Think of all the things we take for granted today – cars, aeroplanes, mobile phones, computers, the internet – none of which would exist if the inventors had told themselves “that won’t work”.

And I’m sure they had other people telling them it wouldn’t work. But they ignored those people and told themselves a different story.

You’re not trying to invent the internet – you’re trying to create a business that makes you happy. It’s not quite the same scale, so stop telling yourself, “that won’t work for me”, and start finding out whether it will.

When I started charging clients upfront, I started with a 25% deposit – nobody questioned it. So, I started asking for 50% upfront. Again, no pushback. Eventually, I moved to 100% upfront.

Not long after I’d started charging upfront, I landed a new client. He agreed to my price, but I hadn’t sent my standard proposal template so I hadn’t mentioned that it was payment in advance.

I told myself I couldn't charge him upfront because I hadn’t made it clear they were the terms. Then I decided to go for it anyway. If he refused, I could make an exception this one time.

So I told him I was delighted he wanted to proceed and sent him the invoice. He paid within the hour.

The story I had told myself was wrong.

So instead of asking yourself what happens if you try and don’t get the result you want, ask yourself what happens if you don’t try, and things stay exactly as they are.

“I’ll never be as good as them”

Comparing yourself with others is not useful, especially if you’re comparing yourself to others based on what they share on social media.

Social media only tells half the story. People share a filtered view of their life and business online, which can make others feel inadequate.

But your business is not the same as theirs.

You wouldn’t walk into a gym, look at the fittest, strongest, most toned and muscular person there, and expect to achieve the same look after a single workout (unless you’re deluded).

So why on earth would you compare your success to the success of others?

You aren’t the same. Your clients aren’t the same. Your skills and experience aren’t the same. Your goals aren’t the same.

You don’t know what support they’re getting in the background. Or whether they’re exaggerating their success stories.

You don’t know how long it took them to get to that point, how hard they had to work, or how much they invested.

And you don’t know which bits of their business they’re not sharing. Maybe they’re in a world of debt. Maybe they're working sixteen hours a day but barely making ends meet. Perhaps they're on the verge of burning out.

I could go on, but hopefully, you get the point.

Your business is your business, and it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or not doing.

Focus on what you’re doing and stop comparing yourself with others.

"I don't need any help"

When I first started in business, I tried to do everything myself.

If I didn't know how to do it, I'd read articles, sign up for freebie guides and courses, look for free advice and tips.

I didn't think I needed to hire a consultant or coach, or pay for training. I didn't think those things would help.

And so I muddled along. I got a few clients - some were actually really good clients.

But even though I was making money, I couldn't get to that next stage.

I was still stuck in the feast or famine cycle. I was still jumping through hoops to win work that I wasn't even that excited about.

Then something clicked.

I realised I needed to invest in my business and myself.

If I wanted things to change, I had to make the change.

So I did.

I reached out to people. People who I knew could help me.

Some of them were people I had avoided approaching in the past because I thought they might be too expensive for me. Or they might think I was too small fry to work with. Or they might think my business was a bit shit.

And do you know what?

Their services weren't too expensive.

And they didn't think I was too small fry.

And they didn't judge me.

I got the support I needed. Learnt stuff that helped me move my business forward.

And I got a return on investment.

I took a risk, and it paid off.

It's still paying off.

And now, when I hit a block in my business, I'm not scared to invest in experts who can help me get unblocked.

I'm not scared of spending money on personal development.

I'm not scared to admit when something doesn't work, or I've been doing something wrong.

I don't let my ego get in the way of achieving my goals.

If you've seen my mentoring programme and thought to yourself, "that sounds like it would help me", then message me.

Don't keep muddling along, hoping your ideal clients will suddenly appear. Stop relying on generic marketing advice that will only get you so far.

Take a risk and invest in yourself and your business.

I might not be able to help you, but we won't know that if you never contact me.

I promise that I will not judge you, and I will not try to hard-sell you something that isn't the right fit. If I don't think I can help you, I will tell you.

So, what are you waiting for?

“That won’t work for me”

“I’ll never be as good as them”

"I don't need any help"

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