How To Deal With Negative Feedback or Rejection
Negative feedback isn't necessarily bad - it's something we can learn from. And getting rejected might actually turn out to be dodging a bullet.
Do you ever find yourself dwelling on bad feedback for far longer than you spend acknowledging good feedback? Or letting the feelings of failure linger when you get rejected, even though you have plenty of successes to celebrate?
You're not alone. It's hard not to take rejection personally. And negative feedback can often knock your confidence far more than good feedback can raise it.
But it's all part of working for yourself. You won't always get it completely right (especially when you're starting out). And you won't win every single client. Negative feedback isn't necessarily bad - it's something we can learn from. And getting rejected might actually turn out to be dodging a bullet.
So learn how to deal with negative feedback and rejection in a productive way and then move on from it.
Easier said than done sometimes, but not impossible.
Avoid knee-jerk reactions
If you receive bad feedback or get rejected for work, resist the temptation to respond immediately.
Even if you think your response sounds reasonable, there might be undertones of anger or resentment, or you may come across as defensive.
Take time to calm down and think rationally about things before you even consider responding.
If you feel the need to vent, open a blank Word document and write down everything you're feeling and thinking, or call a friend and have a moan to them. Or step away from it and do something else. Take a walk, go for a run, do some cleaning, put your favourite song on, play a computer game or do something that helps you relax.
You don't have to respond straight away.
Take the emotion out of it and view the situation objectively
Once you've calmed down, try not to take it personally (I know it's hard sometimes). If you've had negative feedback, look at it again. Is it really as bad as you first thought?
If it has come to you via email, it can be very easy to misinterpret what has been said (especially if it has been written in a rush), and it can be easy to blow things out of proportion. Look for any positive points or constructive feedback. And be honest: is some of the negative feedback justified?
If you've been rejected, pay attention to what the prospect has said. Is it a no, or is it just a no right now? Maybe the timing is wrong. Maybe they've misunderstood your offer. Maybe they haven't actually said no, and they just want more reassurance and information.
If the feedback isn't clear or you haven't been given a reason for why the client has chosen not to work with you, don't be afraid to ask for more information. Sometimes a quick call can clear up misunderstandings and help you understand what you could have done better or differently.
Don't burn your bridges
Even the best companies in the world get it wrong sometimes. It's not the mistakes that bother people - it's the way they are dealt with.
If you've had bad feedback because you've dropped the ball, then own your mistake and fix the problem. If the feedback is unjustified, try and understand what has led the client to feel that way. Was it unclear what they would get for their money? Were their expectations unrealistic?
If you've been rejected for work, send a polite response. You might not be a good fit for them, but that doesn't mean they don't know someone who is. And they might well come back to you at a later date if their alternative doesn't work out (not that you have to accept them if they do).
Look for the positives and learn from the experience
Some clients are just unreasonable, or their expectations are unrealistic. Sometimes a prospect is just looking for the cheapest option, and they don't care if you can do a better job. In those cases, there's not much you can learn. Chalk it up to experience and move on.
But where there is something to be learned, make sure you take those learnings on board. How can you turn a bad experience into a positive by taking measures to avoid something similar from happening again?
Do you need to ask more questions on those initial calls? Should you have said no instead of agreeing to an unrealistic deadline? Are you attracting the wrong type of enquiries? Is your marketing unclear? Are you jumping on calls too quickly?
Learn from your mistakes and make sure you don't make the same mistake next time.
Regain your confidence
It can be hard not to let a bad experience knock your confidence, but try not to dwell on it. Learn what you can, focus on the positives, and move on.
Do something to boost your confidence. Keep a file of all your good feedback and read through it when you receive bad feedback or feel rejected. Remind yourself of all the great clients you've worked with and the projects you've completed successfully.
Give yourself a confidence boost by doing something you enjoy or something that makes you feel good. Exercise is a great way of re-energising yourself. It makes you feel like you've achieved something, and you unlock some of those happy hormones that improve your mood.
Lisa Slater
If exercise isn't for you, do something else that makes you feel good or gives you a sense of achievement.
Make improvements
You will always get the odd pain in the arse client who will never be happy, no matter what. And even if your prices are super reasonable, there will be people who want it cheaper. Don't worry about these people.
But if you're seeing consistent patterns in your feedback or rejections, then maybe something needs to change. It might be your marketing. It might be your sales process. It might be something in the service itself.
Don't ignore consistent issues. Deal with them. There is always something we can improve.
Share your experience with someone you can trust
If you are constantly getting rejected (or ghosted) or you feel as though you never get the type of feedback you'd like, share your experience with someone you trust.
They could give you a fresh perspective and help you understand what needs to change.
Friends and family members can help to an extent, but if they don't have experience working for themselves, they probably won't be able to give you the right kind of support.
So speak to other freelancers, join a business community, or work with a mentor who can help you move forward. There might be some simple fixes you can make to improve your services, reduce negative feedback, and attract (and convert) more of the clients you want.
