Do You Suffer From Comparisonitus?

It's good to have people you look up to, admire, and even slightly envy. It can be motivational. It can inspire us.

But if you're constantly comparing yourself to other people and often find yourself thinking "everyone else is doing better than me," that can start to take a toll on your mental health and self-esteem.

Set your own goals

It's too easy to get distracted by other people's definition of success. I was guilty of this when I started my business. I bought into the idea that I had to build something that worked without me to be successful. And to do that, I had to have a team of employees and a big turnover.

Rubbish.

I know plenty of businesses with huge turnovers that hardly make a profit. And I know plenty of business owners with multiple employees who rarely pay themselves or take time off. Is that success? If it is, I'm not interested.

To me, success is about happiness. I consider myself successful because my business allows me to have the kind of life I want. I don't work endless hours. I have great clients. I enjoy the work I do. I make enough money to do the things I want to do. And I have enough time to do stuff that's important to me and spend time with people I love.

When I look at people who are growing their business, I don't feel resentful or jealous or inadequate because that's not what I want from my business. I have no interest in building a business empire. I don't want to be responsible for other people's salaries. I don't care about selling my business in twenty years time. I just want to make enough money to have a nice life now and when I retire.

You need to decide what your version of success is. If you know what you're working towards, you'll be less concerned about what other people are working towards.

Don't believe everything you see on social media

Social media has its positives, but it can also be a toxic swamp. It's full of people boasting about their financial success and luxury lifestyles.

But let's be honest, most of it is bollocks. If you were making six figures a month, would you be bragging about it on LinkedIn? I wouldn't. And I wouldn't be trying to flog £20 courses on Facebook either.

It's easy to lie, or exaggerate or only share half a story on social media.

Someone could say "I've built a profitable business" but that profit might be £10 total over five years. Or they could say "I billed £100k last year" but forget to mention that they spent £120k. Or they could boast about growing from just them to a team of ten, without revealing that they took out thousands of pounds in loans to do it.

​You don’t know which bits of their business they’re not sharing on social media. Maybe they’re in a world of debt. Maybe they are working sixteen hours a day, but barely making ends meet. Perhaps they are on the verge of burning out.

And even if their business is nearly as perfect as you believe it to be, you don't know what they had to sacrifice along the way to get where they are.

You only ever see a filtered view of other people's lives or businesses on social media. You don't know what's going on behind the scenes. You don't know what challenges or struggles they're facing or have faced to get where they are.

If spending time on social media makes you feel like everyone else is doing better than you, take a break from it.

Focus on your own successes (even the small ones)

It's easy to look at other people and feel like they are all doing it bigger and better than you. But if you sit and take a moment to reflect, I bet you could list plenty of personal and professional achievements.

I remember getting my first paying client - that felt like a huge achievement at the time. And it was. Not everyone starts their own business.

Don't underestimate your own success. If you're earning a living doing something you love, that's something worth celebrating.

Give yourself the same praise you would give other people if they'd done the things you've done or achieved the things you've achieved.

Reward yourself for the wins - big or small.

Won a new client? Congratulations.

Got some great feedback? Amazing.

Stayed on track with your marketing this week? Good job.

Working for yourself is not easy. So give yourself credit for doing it.

You wouldn’t walk into a gym, look at the fittest, strongest, most toned and muscular person there, and expect to achieve the same look after a single workout (unless you’re deluded).

So why on earth would you compare your success to the success of others?

​You aren’t the same. Your clients aren’t the same. Your skills and experience aren’t the same. Your goals aren’t the same.

Your business is your business, and it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing or not doing.

Turn envy into inspiration

Instead of looking at other people and letting it make you feel inadequate, use their success to inspire yours. If they can do it, there's no reason you can't too. What's stopping you? What are they doing that you're not? What can you learn from them?

Be open to change. Look for ways to improve. Don't be afraid to reach out to people who are successful and ask for advice. Learn from others. You don't have to do everything alone.