Boundaries & Processes

Beware the Toxic Swamp

There’s a scary amount of bad business advice out there. Some of it is well-meant but based on nothing but guesswork, some is purposely malicious, and some is just plain toxic.

In the story of Little Red Riding Hood, Little Red is given strict instructions by her mother to stick to the path all the way to Grandma’s house.

"Stick to the path" is good advice for your business too.

You’ve set your goal, but now you’ve got to get there.

And just like Little Red, you need to navigate your way through the "forest", and the forest is full of distractions.

Don’t get sidetracked. Stick to the path and get to grandma’s house. And beware of people who will take you off course and distract you from your goals.

The echo chambers

Do you want to solve your problem or just feel better about it?

If you want to solve it, don’t ask for advice from people with the same problem as you. They can’t help you solve it – if they could, they wouldn’t have the problem themselves.

All they can do is help you live with the problem. They’ll tell you it’s part of freelance life, and you just have to learn to accept it. (Spoiler: you don’t).

You’ll end up in an echo chamber where you all complain about the same thing, agree on how terrible it is, and reassure each other that it’s all ok.

It’s easy to get sucked into echo chambers. They are comfortable because you all have something in common. But you won’t get much in the way of useful advice from people with the same problems as you if they have no idea how to solve them.

And watch out for people operating under the “fake it ’til you make it” banner. They want to appear successful, even if they aren’t.

The problem is they aren’t giving advice based on experience. They simply regurgitate the same motivational quotes, inspiring stories, and generic advice they’ve seen or read elsewhere.

And they’ll happily give advice on marketing and sales when they haven’t got a clue how to attract clients themselves.

If you want helpful business advice, get it from people who have actually built the kind of business you want.

The self-proclaimed gurus

If you’ve been in business for more than five minutes, you’ll have seen one of these scammers touting their formula for success.

“I was down and out, on the verge of bankruptcy, and about to lose everything when I suddenly discovered the one secret that turned me into an overnight millionaire. Now I want to share it with you.”

All you have to do is pay £27 for a training video/webinar/workshop/event (which turns out to be a glorified sales pitch for a £10k mastermind course).

These people are not selling you a solution. They are selling hope. They are selling you magic beans, but as we know, magic beans don’t exist.

If a person makes so much money they own five Lamborghinis, a super yacht, and a private jet, why on earth would they be flogging a thirty-quid course on Facebook?

They wouldn’t.

You don’t see Richard Branson, Bill Gates, or Jeff Bezos making get-rich-quick videos, do you?

So be wary of anyone claiming they can help you build a six-figure business overnight.

And if you’re thinking of handing over big sums of money to a business coach or guru, do your due diligence. Check whether their claims are legit – can they really help you achieve what they say they can?

The positive thinkers

“All you have to do is think positive thoughts, and all your dreams will come true. It’s all about a positive mindset, laws of attraction and wanting it bad enough.”

People spouting this crap are basically implying that people fail in business because they don’t want success badly enough.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t adopt a positive mindset – you absolutely should. But it shouldn’t replace action. Self-belief isn’t a magic wand.

Good things don’t happen just because you wish for them. Crossing your fingers won’t bring clients to your door. And visualising money will not make it magically appear in your bank.

If you want clients, you have to go out and get them. You can’t wish yourself to success.

The ”hustle and grind” crew

“Wake up at the crack of dawn, run a marathon while closing a deal, meditate, check your emails, work, work, work, post a motivational video, lift some weights, work through the night, sleep for an hour, and then start all over again.”

No thanks.

Get up at 4am. Don’t get up at 4am. Work eighty hours a week. Work eight hours a week. Meditate after lunch. Take a walk after lunch. Take a nap after lunch.
Do whatever suits you. It’s your business and your life.

Just because somebody else got successful by having a strict routine of spinach smoothies for breakfast, not checking emails before 3pm, and running a marathon before every meeting doesn’t mean it will work for you.

Find your own formula. And don’t put too much stock in the idea that you have to work until you drop if you want to be successful. Hard work doesn’t always translate into success. You can work hard at the wrong things.

If you’re filling your week with low-paying work, making just enough to cover the bills, and never finding time to grow your business, you aren’t going to create your happy ever after, no matter how hard you’re working at it. You’re going to be stuck doing low-paying work forever.

There’s nothing wrong with working long hours, evenings and weekends if it takes you closer to your goal. But don’t feel bad if you don’t want to dedicate every waking hour to your business.

The cults

When you enter the world of self-employment, you can easily get sucked into cult-like situations.

It’s understandable when you think about it – we’re used to being led. As a child, we follow the rules of our parents or guardians. At school, it’s our teachers providing authority. And when we get a job, we have bosses.

So when you’re suddenly in a world where nobody is making the rules, it’s tempting to look for someone to follow.

There are examples of it everywhere you look.

First up, the pyramid schemes disguised as an opportunity to run your own business. On paper, it’s the dream – a ready-made business with amazing products. All you have to do is sell those products. The more you sell, the more you make.

Sounds great until you’re expected to build a team – in other words, recruit more people into the pyramid.

Then you have the referral networking groups. You’re joining a group of like-minded people who all want to help each other succeed in business. You have a network of contacts who can connect you with your ideal clients – as long as you play the game, find them referrals in return, and follow the rules of course.

And then there are the ‘influencers’ and the ‘gurus’. They have thousands of adoring followers, all hanging on their every word. They dish out marketing and business advice based on what worked for them and tell you to ignore anything that doesn’t fit their way of doing things.

But here’s the thing with pyramid schemes, networking organisations and your favourite influencers – you don’t have to follow them religiously.

If the tactics they promote aren’t delivering the results they promised, don’t pump more time, money and energy in.

Take the best bits – the bits most relevant to your business, most aligned with your values, and most likely to help you get results.

I think pyramid schemes should be avoided at all costs. But if you have been sucked into one, you’ve probably gained a few useful skills. Escape the pyramid scheme and use these skills to set up a real business offering something people actually want.

Networking can be a useful tool – I was part of a networking group for three years and made some great business contacts and friends. But don’t make networking your only marketing strategy – you’ll be depending on other people to get you results.

As for influencers? They aren’t messiahs. You don’t have to worship them and hang on their every word. It’s ok to disagree with them now and then, despite what their loyal disciples might believe.

Just because you like someone doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or do. There are people I admire and respect, but it doesn’t mean I agree with their opinion on everything. You probably won’t agree with everything I say – it doesn’t mean the rest of what I say isn’t valid. And just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean they are wrong about stuff.

Be open-minded and think for yourself. It’s ok to gain insight from multiple sources.

You don’t have to follow one leader. You don’t have to subscribe to one business ideology. And you don’t have to blindly follow someone else’s bible.